Ya never know, babe. We've got some real horny goblins here.
[ says a horny goblin herself ]
Yeah, incredibly fucked up! Why are we running around playing detective? That's not the horny cruise ship I signed up for! I mean, I didn't really sign up for a horny cruise ship either, but whatever.
Well... I'm a realator. [Pronounced exactly like that...] I have my own real state company. A daughter I love very much. And I just had to throw out one of my favorite dresses. What's your deal?
Good for you. Well, except for the dress part, that straight up sucks. I'm basically just an Arizona trashbag that's extremely hot. And dead. I used to telemarket when I was alive.
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weekend prezero
Sooooo, do you think we're ever gonna meet our "hosts" or are they just gonna send us more snippets of the world's most awkward group chat?
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Well, it sounded like they planned on it. But they were also weirdly obsessed with us wanting to kill them? So that's kind of a mixed message.
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Maybe they've got some kind of thing for snuff? I didn't read the whole way through, but they were uh, pretty weird.
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I feel like that's the kind of thing I would want a warning for before I accept? Informed consent is super sexy, too.
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saturday, week zero.
quietly, all kinds of shocked:]
What the fuck?
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So either you're talking about the trial and we're definitely on the same page, or someone slipped some lube into your smoothie. Which is it?
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[ ... ]
But yeah, that was nine hours of hot garbage.
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[LOOOONG EXHALE.]
That was fucked up, right? We agree, that was complete bullshit?
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[ says a horny goblin herself ]
Yeah, incredibly fucked up! Why are we running around playing detective? That's not the horny cruise ship I signed up for! I mean, I didn't really sign up for a horny cruise ship either, but whatever.
week 1, thursday
Hey, babe. Can I get you anything? Finger splint, beer, alcohol, hard drugs?
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Well... I see you already brought the beer, so let's go with that.
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How's the finger? It looks a little... iffy.
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[She moves the finger again, experimentally.]
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There's also no eBay around here.
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[ holds up a hand for a high five ]
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[high five!!]
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Well... I'm a realator. [Pronounced exactly like that...] I have my own real state company. A daughter I love very much. And I just had to throw out one of my favorite dresses. What's your deal?
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Excuse me. Hang on. Did you say "dead?"
week one, friday.
... Not a great way to start the weekend, huh?
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Preeeeetty shitty. You think we have two killers running around now, or what?
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[She will take that beer, thanks.]
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[ gonna throw back that beer! ]
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Can you believe we agreed to this? Guess they didn't include murder in the fine print.
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sunday, week two.
okay, no. i'm kidding. she will run into her in the common room... and immediately shimmy over to the bar to grab some bottles.]
You skipped out today?
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Yeah, uh, just wasn't in the mood for torture porn.
How gross was it?
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[Eleanor did not miss anything good, lbr.]
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[ also hit me with memshare whenever ]
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[Trailing off awkwardly. MEMSHARE WILL COME when I find the clips again, I'm crying.]